Friday, 9 December 2011

Wrong Number!

Recently Brandon and I changed our phone numbers... we finally committed to Toronto phone numbers.  That takes a lot to do when you've had your number since you had a cell phone!  Anyway, just a few hours after changing my number I received a text from a number I didn't recognize.  The following is the conversation we had:

Random: Yo
Me: Who is this?
Random: Josh, why what does it say  (I'd like to point out his lack of punctuation)
Me: Josh- listen I don't know how to say it... I'm pregnant  (Why not have some fun, right?)
Random: Thats awfully unusual for a guy
Me: It's a Christmas miracle!!!
Random: who knocked u up
Me: Jesus
       Or maybe you
       I've narrowed it down to either one of you
Random: Did. I get the wrong number (I'm writing it exactly how he typed it! Pathetic)
Me: But we won't know until it's Born
       I capitalized Born because it could be Jesus' son
Random: Jesus doesn't exist and god too  (apparently I hit a nerve)
Me: Well this baby is real!  So you better get serious about fatherhood!
Random: Dude stfu (for those not into the texting lingo of all the cool kids that means shut the fuck up)
Me: That's no way for a father to speak!
        Well DNA test came back- it's Jesus' baby, we can move on.  Thanks for your time- I'll never forget you

Needless to say Josh stopped texting me and I never heard from him again.  I had fun though!


  1. I just...I don't know how to convey the admiration I have for you right now. You are hilarious! That exchange made my day. And his grammar was atrocious. It pained me to read his responses when they were littered with incorrect uses of...everything. Your grammar was excellent, though! Glad there's someone else in the world that shares my feelings about improper grammar!

  2. OMG!! OMG!! Why didn't I hear this story earlier?!?! HILARIOUS!!! must hate my texts. lol -C