Are You My Mother?

 

Have you ever read this book?  If not, you really should.  If you're not aware, "P.D. Eastman" is a Dr. Seuss protege, so you can expect the typical Seuss-ical style to this book.  If you haven't read it- you should.  But this post if not solely intended to boost Dr. Seuss sales of "Are You My Mother?", so let me continue...

How many of you women out there sometimes feel like you're significant other's mother?  If you're anything like me, and apparently many other women out there (according to a magazine poll), you likely do the following "motherly" type things for your man:

• help him with laundry 
• help clean his room/house
• organize his appointments
• remind him about appointments and when he needs to take time off work
• make meals for him to take to work
• shut off lights, close doors and just generally clean up after he's left a room
• take care of him when he's sick 
• fold and put away clothes
• run errands for him
• organize and keep his official records and documents (banking, ID) safe
• help with banking and saving

I often think/ask, "am I your mother?" to which he usually replies, "no, but you can be my fiance who acts as a mother".  Men want to be mothered, no matter what they outwardly say.  They love to be taken care of, doted on and know that when they mess up there is a woman there to make things right.

Are you my mother?
No, I am not your mother- but you'll treat me as one anyway.

You Are So Wonderful To Me

In the past to weeks, working at my new job, moving out of our apartment and trying to settle into our parents’ houses… things have been a bit hectic.  I, as I often tend to do, have been stressed to the max and tired.  I never thought I could be more tired from working in an office all day, sitting down, than when I was on my feet all day in retail.  But I come home exhausted.  The commute is a new adjustment for me too- I’ve never worked this far, nor have I ever had to experience the joys of rush hour traffic.  (FYI if you are in a car near me when I am commuting- stay away and don’t drive like a fool- I may yell at you, flash you some hand gesture or just scream loudly in my car and probably look like a lunatic.

Anyhow, Brandon has been great.  It’s a good thing we both aren’t panic people, or there’d be no one to bring us back from the edge.  Last week, he made my lunch (and breakfast) before I left for work.  He didn’t work that day and still got up to ensure I had something to eat.  He packed up pizza from the night before and it had a few toppings I am not a fan of- which I generally take off before consuming.  When I opened my lunch, expecting to massacre the toppings, they were already gone.  Brandon had taken each topping off both slices of pizza for me!  Incredibly thoughtful.

Earlier this week, Brandon was using my car while I was at work (I carpool) and in the mid-afternoon he texted me and said “do you know what I’m doing right now?” and I assumed it was something to do with my super secretive birthday gift/event that he’s been teasing and harassing me with for almost a month now, so I responded back with some quip about my birthday gift.  Nope.  He was cleaning my car!  Not just removing the garbage… he full out cleaned it.  Removed garbage and random crap that has accumulated in my car over the past…um… year, maybe.  He vacuumed the carpets, dusted off the mats, cleaned the dash, cupholders and doors.  The car looks great (well as great as a 2001 Saturn can look…)

It’s these little things people often look over and don’t appreciate in life, and both these gestures made me so happy and appreciate just how wonderful my boyfriend really is!

Laundry

Sometimes I wish I could do laundry naked.

Now hold on, stay with me.

I don't mean that in the naked, sexual sense but more for the practical sense. When I do laundry I want to be able to clean ALL my clothes. Not just the ones I'm not wearing.  Right?  So, when my laundry is all done, any piece of clothing I may desire to wear is ready and waiting for me.  Don't tell me it's a bad idea.  Cause it's not.

Now, I guess I just must wait until I have my own house- with no roommate and no communal laundry room.  Unless.... naked laundry could be a niche people are missing out on?  Maybe I could make some spare cash?

Newly Organized Kitchen

With our new roommate here and actually using the "amenities" we provide him in this place, I had to reorganize our cupboards and fridge to accommodate.  I had originally done this for Doug, but then he never used it, so I took it over and made good sue of the small space we have.  I kind of just consumed the whole kitchen for us, and organized it however I wanted.  And I had a good system.

Then I forgot when we got a new roommate, that he'd be normal and want space in the kitchen.  Understandable.  So, our snack cupboard has turned into Jai's cupboard.  And our regular/dinner cupboard has become our catch-all cupboard.  This made for putting away groceries after shopping a bit more challenging than usual.  But do you know what that means?  I got to reorganize!!!  Hooray!  I love organizing, especially challenging spaces.  So I spent possibly an hour reorganizing our cupboards and fridge a few days back.  In the end, I'm happy to have done it- though I do wish we had more cupboard space in our kitchen!

What's amazed us is the fact that Jai actually uses his cupboard for food!  So it makes me feel good that at least my cupboard is going to good use.  Take care of my cupboard Jaisun.

He also gets bonus points for the Kindle he gave me!  Woo hoo!  Free Kindle!

Where is the maple syrup?!

We're Canadian. If you're a regular reader you would have picked up these clues with many words spelled using "u" and "e" on the end.

So, you can laugh at this post which is all about our maple syrup placement. Yup, I know, maple syrup is so Canadian. And we love it... Well I really only use it on my pancakes.

Anyway, there's a dispute in our house regarding the syrup placement. Where do you keep your syrup? I have always kept it in the cupboard. No where on the bottle does Aunt Jamima tell me her sweet, sweet syrup belongs in the fridge- so why would I question her?! It belongs in the cupboard!
Brandon, however, seems to think maple syrup belongs in the fridge. I had never heard of this before we moved in with one another. Actually it wasn't until we had pancakes at our place the first time that I had any idea at all that he was a major weirdo! In terms of maple syrup that is.

When Brandon goes in the cupboard and sees the syrup sitting comfortably on the shelf he removes it and places it on the top shelf of the fridge. WRONG!!! This is NOT where the syrup belongs!!! So, I see this and I place Aunt Jamima back in her cupboard. Sometimes this will continue as a back and forth action for a few days until he finally gives up.

Beard Comb

Following the post on beards and how...ummm.... pedophile looking they are, Brandon decided to stop shaving.  I'm not sure if it was just because, or if he read the post and decided to annoy me.  Either way, the beard is a-growing!  It's almost been a week and it's coarse, thick and calico in colour.

yes this post is all about this little comb!

Then, the other day he found his trimming comb.  And oh what fun that's been.  He carries it with him everywhere around the house.  Like a young child and his "blankie", this comb is his new toy.  He taps tables with it, combs his face, his hair, runs the tangs over his teeth, tries to brush my hair and uses it as a pointer.  Basically, whatever he can do with this tiny black comb he does.  He thinks it makes his beard smoother and not as rough on my face.  I can't confirm nor deny this as I don't know that it really makes much of a difference.  But he's happy- and that makes me happy.

In fact, he's so happy the other day he was doing a skip/slow gallop down the hallway.  It was cute, but I couldn't help be reminded of the Maxwell House commercial with the really happy little girl.  Not that he looked like a little blonde girl...

82%!

This is an example of an 82% grade.

I give him 82% because he threw away his Bagelfull garbage in the bin, recycled his cereal box...but forgot these 2 important aspects of breakfast cleanup.  But congrats Brandon, 82% is an A-!

Yogurt lid film and lid left on the counter.  -10%

Yogurt container sitting in sink with water- an attempt to rinse the container for recycling bin. -8%

The Couch Wipe

We have off-white (or beige) couches.  They are the typical IKEA couches, and we have slipcovers over them so we can remove them and wash (a smart investment when you have canine companions!).  Brandon often snacks while sitting on the couches.  What does this have to do with the couches or this post?

My dear Brandon tends to wipe his dirty, snacky hands on the back or arms of the couch.  He'll try to do this nonchalantly, thinking I'm not noticing.  But I notice every time.  The action goes something like this:

• hand in bag of snack
• snack to mouth
• repeat (perhaps up to 3 times)
• hand swiftly swings to back of couch with a quick wiping action and an immediate return of hand back into the snack bag

Yes, we have slipcovers so we can wash them.  But that doesn't mean I want snack crumbs/grease on them in between washings.  Plus they totally suck to get on and off.

Brandon- stop wiping your dirty snacky hands on our couches!!

The Laundry Experiment

The other day I went home to my mother's to do some baking for Christmas. (Which hasn't made it past this week, by the way.)  Anytime we go home to our parents' we take our laundry so we don't have to pay to use the machines in our building (which tear apart clothes anyway).  So I come home following a day of baking, laundering and feasting and bring the bag of clothes into our room.  Where it has sat for days.  I am usually the one to put it away, but this time I decided I was going to wait to see how long it would take for Brandon to a) mention it, b) put it away or c) wonder where some of his clothes were.

I thought we were close the other day when he had to get a shirt out of the bag to wear and he mentioned that it was wrinkly...but no action was taken.  Then we were going out later on and he was looking for a specific shirt, which was in the bag, but nope just removed the shirt and left the bag.  The following night I dumped the bag of clothes into the laundry basket- hoping he'd notice the change of location and perhaps take some action.  But again this didn't happen.  So there sits the laundry, waiting to be noticed.  I imagine some sad song playing in the background of some sappy movie about the laundry who just wanted a home.  It's starting to get to me, so I assume I'll end up being the one to put it away.  Or maybe I'll put his stuff in a box somewhere and when he goes looking for it I'll tell him the laundry fairy took it?  That sounds like too much work.  I'll put it away.

The Relentless Wrapper

Have you ever had something or someone who just was so relentless?  Was always hassling you to buy their product?  Or a dog who won't stop begging?  This is the granola bar wrappers in my house!  They relentlessly hang around...everywhere!

Allow me to list the places these wrappers hang out:

• dining room table
• living room table
• bedroom book shelf
• bedside tables
• living room floor
• front hall cupboard
• in front of the TV
• kitchen counters
• microwave shelving unit
• on the odd occasion bathroom counters
• window sills
• stove top

Clearly, these wrappers are not living, breathing, responsible humans...the person on the other end of these wrappers is of course my one and only- Brandon.  How is it these wrappers can make it onto every surface possible EXCEPT the place they are supposed to be- the garbage?!

Dishwasher

It gets loaded back to front, why does he load it front to back?  It's drives me mad!

Fridge Organization Update

After posting the frustrations with men always putting items back in the fridge on the top shelf, I received a reader contribution that in fact, keeping eggs in the fridge door is dangerous as it is the warmest place in the fridge. Thus bringing eggs below acceptable temperatures.

Apparently, the people who designed the fridges (probably a man) in the mid 60s-80s thought egg indents in the fridge door would be a good solution.  And I must admit it does keep them out of the way.  But who knew they could get so warm and then become bad for you?

So now I must reorganize my fridge.  I'm a bit concerned this may throw Brandon off, but who am I kidding- he just puts things on the top shelf anyway.  This won't throw him off.  Just as moving the cleaning supplies, hand towels, toilet paper or anything else with any kind of organization.

I'm waiting to hear back from the same reader if you can in fact eat eggs that have become frozen.  Update to follow.

"Don't get mad at me for putting things wherever I want" -Brandon

Opening the New One

Please see Exhibit A: full ketchup bottle next to the nearly empty ketchup bottle...

Why open the NEW ketchup bottle, when a perfectly good already opened ketchup bottle still has ketchup waiting to be used?!  Let me show you just how much ketchup was still left and ready to be consumed:

I realize this seems silly, but seriously, look at how much ketchup was left!  Now to be fair, this is not enough ketchup for Brandon.  We should really take our shares in Heinz Ketchup we go through so much.  We use approximately one of the large plastic squeeze bottles per month- and it isn't me using it.  I really think he'd eat anything if it had ketchup on it.  "Give it to Mikey- he eats anything"

This seems to be a theme though with men, or at least my man.  To open a new one, before the old one has expired or been fully used.  This goes with food- specially fridge items (yogurt, sour cream, cheese, ketchup, BBQ sauce)- and daily items such as, toilet paper and paper towel.  If it's not finished yet, why open a new one?

The Traveling Tea Towel

It's so odd.  I've never been to anyone's home and seen their tea towels move around as much as they do here.  Perhaps it's the building we live in?  Maybe there's some kind of magical powers that allow my towels to come alive?  Yet somehow I think that may not be the case.  I more lean to the fact that Brandon often carries the towel around on his shoulder and then puts it down somewhere.  Let's follow the travels of the traveling tea towel!

Near the front door- also near the kitchen

SO close to the stove where it should hang!

Airplane room- no place for a towel here

On the bed...

There are so many more places I find towels, and I'll be sure to update with more photos as I come across them.

Free Range Socks

Their habitat is often within the bedroom dwelling, though they can also be spotted within other areas of the homestead: bathrooms, kitchens, laundry rooms and quite often the living room.  Allowed to scatter wherever they please and wherever they may land (upon human removal).  Usually white in colour, these socks are easily spotted- with no real camouflaging pattern or abilities.  These socks require little care and virtually no diet.  Their only predator (besides me) is a large Bernese Mountain Dog, named Hudson.

They are the FREE RANGE SOCKS.

Free Range Socks show up quite often and in new places every week- you can expect to see many more photos of these socks in their natural environment... my home!

Part Time Job: Clutter Buster

I'm a full-time student.  A part-time retail store sales associate.  AND a part-time Clutter Buster!

What is a Clutter Buster, you may ask?

Job Description

Roles & Responsibilities 

• entering home and surveying each room for the most probable clutter
• assessing clutter
• prioritizing which clutter should be addressed, based on who may see it, if it's growing/living, if it currently has-or will have- a smell, whether dogs can/will access it
• begin clearing clutter... BUST IT!
• scold boys for AGAIN leaving their clutter around the house

Goals

• keep the house free of clutter and acceptable for visitors and daily living
• NOT feel anxious about amount of clutter 

Qualifications

• preferably a woman (so the job is done right)
• require little to no sleep, as to allow for constant clutter busting
• patience dealing with men
• some sort of education is preferred so as not to be discouraged in working this job forever (or as long as you live with a man)

Compensation

• n/a 

Now that you have a better understanding of what exactly a Clutter Buster is (you in fact may have just found out you, too, are a Clutter Buster!), you are able to assess the following "cases" of clutter.

Clothing

Brandon's favourite clutter goal: see how many different places he can leave his clothes- of course NOT including the drawers or hamper.

on top of boxes upon moving in

on the nicely made bed (by me of course)

ahhhh.... on the floor right beside the bed! This is a common one

SO CLOSE to being in the right spot... just push it down INTO the hamper...

Dishes
Another common clutter occurrence- dishes.  Very often used, very often not put away.

these are breakfast dishes... this picture was taken at 3pm.  Dishes still sitting on the table

beer bottles, cans, leftovers, plates, empty milk jug, dish cleaning tool...all NOT in their proper positions

dog food- please note the lid has been placed on the can- FANTASTIC!  Please also note it is not in the fridge... so close

dog food dispensing spoon- I should have taken a photo of the dishwasher which sits right next to the sink

Other

not sure this counts as clutter- but is a garbage bin which hasn't been emptied in weeks- I guess I'm guilty in this one too.

An every morning clutter occurrence- the bed NOT being made until I go back into the room to do so- after fighting the urge I just must have a made bed before I leave the house

 I am the Clutter Buster.  I am NOT available for hire as I have far too much clutter busting to do in my own house.  However, should you ever need clutter busting tips- I'm your gal.  I've also got some great tips on how to suppress making the comments to the guilty clutter makers.

"How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"