Showing posts with label Zombie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Zombie. Show all posts

Saturday, 13 October 2012

Titillating Trailers

Have you ever been forced to watch video game commercials or trailers?  No?  Is that because you don't have a special man in your life?

Everytime a new video game is coming out- and for those that aren't aware, prime time is in the fall between September and November (something I never thought I would know)- Brandon is watching a new trailer.  If you've seen them, you know the formula.

Soft, sweet, quite possibly older music (say "Amazing Grace" style) starts the trailer off.  You watch thinking, "oh how nice, what game is this? Pioneer Living?" and then there's a sudden drop in bass.  It's probably a large drum to start and does a steady and slow beat.  Until... BAM!  Guns are shooting, people are yelling, fighting is happening!  The trailer turns from lovely to a massacre in 15 seconds!  It's no longer of interest to you (ok, me) because it's so violent and crazy, you've (alright, fine- I've) seen it all before.  Maybe it's about zombies, or war or fictional 7 horsemen characters.

Let me show you some examples:

 and...

and...
and...

And then there's this fun video... much more my style!


Friday, 31 August 2012

Subway Zombies





Let me describe it to you.

They all sit in their seats, calmly and quietly.  Sometimes they are reading, but mostly sleeping. They are in a state of calm, often bobbing their heads and jerking awake when the ride doesn’t quite go smoothly.  Then, it stops.  The subway has arrived at the end of the line and everyone has to exit.  Immediately people spring up from their seats, rushing towards the still closed doors.  This is the most activity we have seen from them yet.  Like cattle rushing to the front of the chute, these people want to be as close to the opening doors as possible.

There are an equal amount of people on either side of the door.  Some waiting to exit, others wanting to enter- and of course rush past seniors and small children to grab the much coveted seat...for their bag.  And one for themselves too.

Then it happens. The doors open.

Those wanting out shuffle forward, so packed together they can't manage to lift their feet without stepping on someone in front of them. Everyone is walking in a slow motion but almost brisk pace.  It's hard to explain unless you've seen it.  But everyone appears to be in a rush, yet no one can be in a rush because of the hoards of people in front of them.  Those that are familiar with the morning events just walk along, some are still managing to read their newspapers, playing games on their phones or possibly even completing their crossword puzzle.  They shuffle along headed towards their destination.  You can't get around the group- you must follow and shuffle along with them.  Until you reach the 3-way fork: left, right or extreme left are your options.  This is where you need to find the hole in the crowd and make a break for where you want to be going.  It's only at this point I am able to walk at a regular pace.


The other subway obstacles are the stairs and escalators.  I always take the stairs.  There is a section of the subway I walk through which has 14 stairs.  Fourteen.  I know this because I've counted.  I can also tell you I climb 460 stairs per day.  Anywhoozle, 14 stairs.  And there is an escalator right beside the stairs- which I understand is to keep people moving along.  However, how lazy are you people who line up for the escalator so you can avoid the 14 stairs?!  Let me answer this: very lazy.


The subway is always interesting, with various types of people, fights, friendly people who want to have a conversation with those they don't know...I actually enjoy my time on the subway as part of my commute.  The driving part I could most definitely do without!

Thursday, 9 August 2012

I Learned to Steal From my Grandma



Not like a car or anything major.  Just fruit, napkins, condiments...

I can remember so often going out for a meal with her, and she'd always take the extras that we hadn't used.  We'd go to a buffet and she'd take extra, easily hidden, food for later consumption.  I'm fairly certain that a buffet doesn't have a take-out option.  They sort of bank on the idea that you won't eat as much as you pay for, nevermind taking some home.

The last time Brandon and I went out to eat somewhere I recall keeping the extra ketchup and napkins and being reminded of my grandmother.  Never mind turning into your mother, I skipped that generation and went straight to the earlier.  Come to think of it, I've been "stealing" condiments since I've been an adult, and before that I was doing it for my grandma.  We're a regular Bonnie & Clyde duo.  Better watch out for us fast food & restaurants of Canada...we're on our way to your door step next!  Stealing ketchup, mustard, napkins and plastic cutlery on our way...

Laugh at me now, but when times get tough, and money a bit tight, and you've got a naked hotdog jonesing for some ketchup, don't come crawling.  Because we're hoarders, not sharers.  This for sure is my strength should the zombie apocalypse come upon us.

Thursday, 28 June 2012

Today I Learned...

...my fiancĂ© is preparing for any sort of emergency.  (Actually it was yesterday and last night, but those details don't matter.)

We all remember this post about his belief in the zombie apocalypse, right? Well, he has decided to make his summer hobby preparing an emergency "grab bag". I'm sure I've completely used the wrong wording and will be chastised for it tonight when I get home for work.

Of course, I have been recruited to help out, which I am happy to do. I have made a request for my survival items to be pink- Brandon says this is not happening and that it's impractical. Whatever- its cute! I want to look into my survival bag (in the event of an emergency) and have some enjoyment. I also requested a book, because, shit, if there is a zombie apocalypse or other crazy potentially life ending emergency, I'm going to need something to do.
What? You don't expect that I will be out hunting, do you? Oh no... In the event that things get all "Walking Dead" around here, I believe it's safe to assume we all revert back to old style gender roles. Brandon hunts, I'll work on some gathering and cooking. 

We will, however, need a third person to be our lookout while we are busy. I think we should start taking applications now, you know, so we're prepared for such an event.
Requirements of this person are:
  • we like you enough to keep you in our group, and alive in general
  • you must have good eyesight (won't be having you shoot anything/anyone who isn't meant to be shot (do you know what that can do to a group?)
  • must be fit enough to run quickly to get away from danger- of course we will accept applications from those in wheelchairs, please just ensure you have an all-terrain chair ready for such event.
  • must possess own emergency bag of supplies (as we aren't sharing ours), if you don't have one, don't expect charity from us
  • prefer single person- extra people such as significant others or children just get in the way of doing your job
  • a good familiarity with the Toronto area- to help us get to stores for looting and safe places for hiding
Please note, this is an unpaid position as we will be struggling to stay alive and won't have spare cash to be throwing around.