Monday, 31 October 2011

The Traveling Tea Towel

It's so odd.  I've never been to anyone's home and seen their tea towels move around as much as they do here.  Perhaps it's the building we live in?  Maybe there's some kind of magical powers that allow my towels to come alive?  Yet somehow I think that may not be the case.  I more lean to the fact that Brandon often carries the towel around on his shoulder and then puts it down somewhere.  Let's follow the travels of the traveling tea towel!

Near the front door- also near the kitchen

SO close to the stove where it should hang!

Airplane room- no place for a towel here

On the bed...
There are so many more places I find towels, and I'll be sure to update with more photos as I come across them.

Thursday, 27 October 2011

The Fridge

Let's talk about how the fridge SHOULD look and how it looks after boys have taken and replaced an item.
I realize I am an over-organized person who likes order.  But then there are basic "rules" of the fridge that should be followed.  Such as: large items and beverages belong on the top shelf, left overs and short tupperware items belong on the second shelf and milk, lettuce and large left overs belong on the bottom shelf.  The side of the door is intended for marinades, dressings, sauces, ketchup etc.  In our fridge eggs also belong in the side door.  Finally the crispers.  The left one holds our sandwich meats, cheeses and hotdogs (in other words all our processed crap).  The right one holds our fruits and veggies.  Here is a picture of how the fridge SHOULD look:
Beverages and large items on top shelf.  Small leftovers on the second shelf to the left and yogurts and short items, bottom shelf has the lettuce and some oranges that couldn't fit in the crisper.  Trust that the crispers are in good order with proper contents inside.  This is a good fridge in which you can find whatever it is you may be looking for at a quick pace and without wasting much cold air from the fridge.  However, THIS is how the fridge will generally look following a man rummaging through it:
If you are a man reading this you may think it looks similar.  But please notice all the small items which don't need to be on the top shelf.  The common occurrence in our house seems to be, whenever a man takes something out of the fridge, it is put back into the fridge on the TOP shelf.  It doesn't matter where they got it from, only matters that they place it back on the top shelf.


Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Free Range Socks

Their habitat is often within the bedroom dwelling, though they can also be spotted within other areas of the homestead: bathrooms, kitchens, laundry rooms and quite often the living room.  Allowed to scatter wherever they please and wherever they may land (upon human removal).  Usually white in colour, these socks are easily spotted- with no real camouflaging pattern or abilities.  These socks require little care and virtually no diet.  Their only predator (besides me) is a large Bernese Mountain Dog, named Hudson.

They are the FREE RANGE SOCKS.

It's All Good in the Hood

The Xbox shenanigans continue... Doug and Brandon are currently playing their Xbox Modern Warfare games, listening to 1990's old school rap music.  Clearly some drinking is involved.  They are so enjoying themselves: dancing, rapping... "throwin' their hands in the air... like they just don't care".

Douggie has just informed me.... "Mase loves you".  This is fantastic news!  I've been waiting years to know for sure whether Mase does or does not in fact love me.  Finally, Doug has put my mind at ease!
Mase- he loves me.

From what I can hear between the rapping and gangsta talk, it sounds as though they may be compiling a list of 1990's rap.  I'll be sure to post it, so you can all enjoy what I have enjoyed this evening.

Monday, 17 October 2011

Part Time Job: Clutter Buster

I'm a full-time student.  A part-time retail store sales associate.  AND a part-time Clutter Buster!

What is a Clutter Buster, you may ask?
Job Description

Roles & Responsibilities 
  • entering home and surveying each room for the most probable clutter
  • assessing clutter
  • prioritizing which clutter should be addressed, based on who may see it, if it's growing/living, if it currently has-or will have- a smell, whether dogs can/will access it
  • begin clearing clutter... BUST IT!
  • scold boys for AGAIN leaving their clutter around the house
  • keep the house free of clutter and acceptable for visitors and daily living
  • NOT feel anxious about amount of clutter 
  • preferably a woman (so the job is done right)
  • require little to no sleep, as to allow for constant clutter busting
  • patience dealing with men
  • some sort of education is preferred so as not to be discouraged in working this job forever (or as long as you live with a man)
  • n/a 
Now that you have a better understanding of what exactly a Clutter Buster is (you in fact may have just found out you, too, are a Clutter Buster!), you are able to assess the following "cases" of clutter.


Brandon's favourite clutter goal: see how many different places he can leave his clothes- of course NOT including the drawers or hamper.

on top of boxes upon moving in
on the nicely made bed (by me of course)

ahhhh.... on the floor right beside the bed! This is a common one
SO CLOSE to being in the right spot... just push it down INTO the hamper...

Another common clutter occurrence- dishes.  Very often used, very often not put away.
these are breakfast dishes... this picture was taken at 3pm.  Dishes still sitting on the table
beer bottles, cans, leftovers, plates, empty milk jug, dish cleaning tool...all NOT in their proper positions

dog food- please note the lid has been placed on the can- FANTASTIC!  Please also note it is not in the fridge... so close
dog food dispensing spoon- I should have taken a photo of the dishwasher which sits right next to the sink

not sure this counts as clutter- but is a garbage bin which hasn't been emptied in weeks- I guess I'm guilty in this one too.
An every morning clutter occurrence- the bed NOT being made until I go back into the room to do so- after fighting the urge I just must have a made bed before I leave the house

 I am the Clutter Buster.  I am NOT available for hire as I have far too much clutter busting to do in my own house.  However, should you ever need clutter busting tips- I'm your gal.  I've also got some great tips on how to suppress making the comments to the guilty clutter makers.

"How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

Sunday, 16 October 2011

Guys and the XBox

Let me set the scene of guys and their Xbox.
8am- wake up, eat breakfast, watch some TV
9am- text friends to see if they’ll be up and/or on Xbox Live soon
9:15am- turn on Xbox
9:16am- begin talking to friends on Xbox Live and load up game
9:17am- begin shooting, knifing and throwing grenades at the other guys on Xbox (many of who I assume have been up all night and/or woke up in the middle of the night to begin playing)
9:18am-12pm- continue shooting, knifing and throwing grenades at people
12:01pm- make lunch
12:03- eat lunch, meanwhile talking to the other guys on Xbox informing them he will be back online in just a minute or two
12:05pm- login to lobby of Xbox game and decide on which “map” to play with friends
12:06-5pm- continue playing and harassing other people on Xbox Live

5:10pm- girlfriend walks in the door and realizes her boyfriend has played Xbox for 8 hours while she was at work and will continue to play for the remainder of the evening.

In our humble abode we have 2 Xboxes.  And more recently, the 2nd one, which used to live in the “man den/airplane room” (more on that another day), has moved into the living room with the other Xbox.  In fact they sit on top of one another.  (see picture )  Now, depending on if you have a boyfriend/husband/brother/friend who also plays Xbox (or any other gaming console), you may not understand why TWO Xboxes are needed or why they would need to be in the same room. 

It’s all about the online gaming.  Where you can play with and against people from all over the world who are also wasting their time playing the same game.  Fun fun!  That’s right- you too could play with the person in the very next room…online!  Why play with them, sitting next to them?  That’s so Super Nintendo era.  Folks, we’ve moved on where you not only play games online but with people in your house- in other rooms.  This is apparently fun for guys.  I’m sure somewhere out there… maybe there are a couple girls who also like to play Xbox, but I’m going to guess that population is very small.  So for those girls who don’t understand it, you aren’t alone.

What is it that this stupid grey box has?  How can you play the same game over and over again and be entertained?  This is where I get lost in the matter.  Sure, maybe once…twice even could possibly be fun.  But really every day, all day, over and over again?  It’s the same mission- kill the bad guys, protect your team, win achievements.

It saddens me that I know as much as I do about Xbox and the games that are played on it.  It’s not something I’m happy is taking up a portion of my brain and memory…but when you live with 2 men, it becomes part of your life.

"God created men before women because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before you create your final masterpiece."

Friday, 14 October 2011

The Beginning

Well it's not technically the beginning I guess.  We've been living in our apartment for 2 months now, and it's lovely.  Great space, decent area, and well decorated...thanks to me :)
"We" consists of myself, my boyfriend, Brandon and our good friend, Doug (and our 2 large dogs-Sarah and Hudson).  That's correct- 2 boys.  In my house.  Living with me.  That's what this blog is all about.  Living...nay Surviving life with two men.

Before this blog starts to sound like my life is horrible, I must say I chose this living situation and I actually very much enjoy living with them.  So consider this blog more a chronicle of the idiosyncrasies that come along with living with men.

Let me begin with what inspired the title of this blog: living in a house with the toilet seats nearly always in the upward position.  For any of those who share in my situation of living with the male sex you will understand what I'm referring to.  At first it's not something you check for, and inevitably you end up falling into the gross, cold toilet bowl when you haven't paid any attention to whether that seat is up or down.  But quite quickly you get used to checking for it.  I am proud to say I can now drag myself to my bathroom in the night's darkness, leave the light off -so as not to wreak havoc on my eyes (or wake up Brandon)- and wave my arm around in the direction of the toilet to catch the lip of the toilet seat and gently place it down.  Into the proper position.  At least proper for me.

I've realized I am outnumbered in this house (even if we count the dogs).  So I suppose the toilet seat needs to be in the upward position more often than in the downward position.  But that doesn't make falling into that grimy, germ-infested toilet bowl any less terrible.  Especially for me- I hate germs!

Let's stay on the topic of bathrooms.  Eww.  I seem to have discovered men's messiest domain.  Understandable, considering the happenings within the bathroom.  Still, things I would have never considered.  Like, hair...everywhere.  Men complain about women's hair clogging up the drain.  But I'm here to tell you, my hair hasn't seen that drain since we've lived here.  Their hair is on everything.  The tub walls, the floor, the shower shelf, the toilet, the sink, the counter... everywhere.  Don't believe me?  Take a look.

Let's move on.  Onto the empties.  Inevitably items in the bathroom will become empty after use.  Toilet paper rolls.  Kleenex.  Shampoo & body wash bottles. Hand soap.  The opportunities are endless, and they keep finding new ones.  There is more to just having empty bottles, boxes and tubes though.  The empty process includes men leaving the empties in their usual spot...when they're full.  The natural next step (for a woman) would be to throw it away.  Not boys.  So far we've managed to have the following empties:
  • toilet paper- this one is a given in every male household
  • Kleenex box- just grab another box from the closet
  • body wash- it even continued to get in Brandon's way while showering, but remained on the shelf
  • mouth wash- dumped, but sat on the counter for 2 days before I gave in


That's all for now.  But trust me there are so many more things to talk about!

~Living with 2 men is crazy, but I remember it could always be worse.  I could live with 3.~