And so it's official...

... ding-dong the Mac is dead.

This past Monday was a day I had been waiting for, for the past 2 weeks.  After what I'm now referring to as "the water incident" (you can read about that here), my new, shiny and lovely MacBook Pro is... *sigh* dead.  It turns on but the reaction time is beyond slow. Slower than my old MacBook from 8 years ago... Sllllllllllooooooow as a snail on roofies.

It makes me so sad, because I waited so long to get that computer, dealing with the slow death of my old one.  And now it will be gone.  Totally a first world problem- but having to use Brandon's PC laptop is super lame. He tells me I'm Apple brainwashed, but that's not true, I just know products I like and I'm loyal to them.  Apple- are you sure you don't want to send me a brand new MacBook Pro?!

So my plights to the Mac God will continue... until I have enough money to purchase a new one.

In other news, we got our new car.
Truck.
SUV.
Whatever you want to classify it is- it's a Hyundai Santa Fe.

Let's be real here and acknowledge the fact that it's a 2008 used Santa Fe, but we feel so luxurious in it.  It's just a general "working-man's" vehicle, but it's kind of high end in that category. Plus anything would be considered luxurious compared to my plastic Saturn.  Plastic and styrofoam that is. Oh yes, folks, my front bumper was made purely of styrofoam- which is why I assume, my little Saturn that could turned into squished plastic.

Brandon and I kind of feel like rich adults driving it. You know how when you're in your twenties and you don't quite yet feel like a "real" adult? This seems to be a younger generation thing, because our parents were all married and had us kids by our age, so I suppose they already felt like "real adults". But this car kind of cements that getting older, more mature and more responsible feeling.

We drive around feeling rich. Sitting in our heated leather seats (didn't you know the rich have warm bums?), sunroof open, a real stereo with FIVE speakers playing Mumford & Sons from all angles of the vehicle, with a CD player and real heat and air conditioning...that works! It's the life of royalty I assure you.

One, Two, Buckle My Shoe...

Things happen in three's, right?  So I'm waiting for my third.  I'm hoping it was when I stubbed my toe yesterday, but I'm thinking that wasn't big enough.

First there was my water logged MacBook. My poor, poor MacBook still laying in a bag of rice with any hope it will dry out. I didn't give much thought to the coming in three's rule. That is until Saturday around 1pm, when I totaled my car.

Granted the car wasn't a masterpiece of auto-amazingness. But it was my car that got me from point A to point B- generally work to home. You know, helping me make money to save for a house and whatnot.

This isn't my car, but it is the closest representation via an online search I could find. I wish I had thought to take a picture of my cheap little Saturn that didn't in any way do well in what should have been classified as a fender bender.  The other vehicle just had some rusted out pieces fall off her rear bumper, but my car... it's whole front end is destroyed.  Can you imagine if I had ever been in a serious accident? Like head on collision? My car's airbags didn't even go off.

So, Brandon and I will be off to look for a new vehicle this week. And until we get it, I'm busing it around town (horray). And waiting for my third (and hopefully final) awful happening. Let me know if you see it coming, and I'll try to avoid it. Or maybe it's like the Final Destination rules- it will find you. Perhaps it's best to just let it happen.

WTF Mac Gods?!

There haven't been a lot of blog posts lately, and I can't blame that entirely on what happened to my computer, because it's more recent, but it definitely hasn't made it easy.  Remember this post, where I finally got my new MacBook Pro?  And how excited I was, because I had waited sooooooooo long for it?!  Since then, I have been having a love affair with my MacBook Pro.  I absolutely LOVED that machine, more than I thought I could love any inanimate object.  So why the past tense?  Because of this:

WATER!

 

About that much water was knocked all over my beautiful Macbook Pro.  Yup.  You read that right.  I'm not sure if you know what water does to component electronics?  Of course you do.  But if you don't, it ruins them.  As in destroys.  Kaput.  Finished.  Macbook go bye bye.

The only suggestion was to put my precious machine in a big ass bag of rice for the next 2 weeks in hopes the rice draws out enough moisture to somehow make the Mac God make it start working again.  I'm at 36 hours of no Mac, and typing on this lowly gaming PC Brandon calls a great computer, and it sucks!!!  Mac God- WHY?!?

My Dog Hates Everybody

I don't get it.  Look at this face:

How could THAT hate anyone, right?!  I have no idea!  When he was a puppy I took him everywhere.  He traveled to friend's homes, to the pet store, around town... wherever I was allowed to bring his adorable face, that looked more like this at that time.

But now, he hates people.  Well it's not like he wants to bite people, but he prefers "strangers" not to touch him.  Look at him from a distance- ok.  Try to touch him- no way!  He doesn't discriminate against gender, ethnicities or body types.  He just hates everyone.

Once he's warmed up to you and gets to know you however, then you may be asking me to remove him from the room because he's all up in your grill.  And thinking about it logically, it kind of makes sense.  He wants to get to know people before he lets them touch him.  Isn't this the case for (most- non-slutty) humans too?  Like if some chick just walked up to me and said "oh hey there Shannon, your mom suggested I say hi" and then touched me or hugged me, I may be a bit put off.  Actually I know I'd be weirded out.  I'm not a super touchy-feely gal to begin with.  But get someone I don't know touching me, and I'm just not ok with that.

But the expectations for dogs are different. It's kind of like kids.  Parents always tell their kids, "don't talk to strangers" and "don't go with strangers", yet they briefly introduce them to people like their day care supervisors, distant relatives or friends of theirs and then expect the children to "play nice" and sometimes accept a hug from them.  This must mess with their minds.  And after considering it for some time, this is pretty much what I'm asking my adorable and lovely dog to do.

So, no more Hudson.  I will ensure you are properly introduced and have time to adjust to the people I bring into your life before asking you to let them touch you.  You readers may think I'm crazy for addressing part of this post to my dog, because most animals can't read.  But I want you all to know, my dog is advanced for his age. :)

So this feminist walks into a bar...

I’m not a feminist. I am a woman, just not a feminist. I believe in rights for everyone, any gender, any race, any sexual preference. You do what you’re gonna’ do and I’ll do what I’m gonna’ do. But when I saw on my Twitter feed this morning a tweet from one of the large Toronto news teams, saying that Saudi Arabia is allowing women athletes to attend the Olympics for the first time, I was shocked.

What?! I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised, but I guess I just assumed all the countries of the world had jumped on the “women are equal” bandwagon. How self-centred of me. There are so many places around the world that don’t have equal rights for different members of the community, whether that be women, people of another skin colour, gays etc. Even here in North America, there are areas that don’t accept others. Look at all the work Ellen DeGeneres does for gay rights in California, and advocating for gay marriage. What does it really matter if 2 gay people want to get married to one another? How does it affect your life one way or another?

Recently, Anderson Cooper came “out” as gay. (For some reason I thought this was already common knowledge?) And, of course, media everywhere started covering the story. There were statements quoted by Anderson, opinion pieces, jokes… everyone spoke about it for a day…media news only lasts about a day if it’s popular these days. There was discussion whether he should have to come out to show he isn’t ashamed of his sexual orientation, whether he should be a spokesperson etc. What I don’t understand is, I don’t have to be a spokesperson for being straight. Being the celebrity that I am, I’m sure I would be the first to be asked if this were to happen. But it never would. Because straight is “normal”. I guess if celebrities feel it’s important to be a spokesperson for their belief, actions, or cause then that’s their prerogative. But I don’t understand why some people in the gay community think by him not coming out (publically) sooner, it meant he was ashamed or hiding it. So does that mean the fact we don’t hear much about Matt Damon or Steve Martin’s personal lives, they must be ashamed of being straight and the things they do? Do you see how ridiculous that is?

OK being all serious is boring… but seriously people, get your shit together and just let everyone be.

Fake boobs are better than fake people

I think fake boobs, and their approval by people, depend on the generation and particular person you are speaking to. For example, ask a baby boomer who is now a mother and I would argue most of them would say they disapprove of fake boobs. But ask people currently in their mid-late 20s (what are we? Generation X? Y? ...some letter), and I think you'd find more acceptance.

I, for example, am fine with fake boobs, and would even consider getting them myself. There are many reasons women get fake boobs, from pure cosmetic to reconstruction following a medical procedure. And who cares as long as the woman got to decide for herself that it's something she wanted to do.

This brings me to the next portion of my post- fake people. You know them. You may work with them, or go to school with them.  Hell- they may even be part of your friends or family. They are everywhere, and inevitably we will meet them at some point in our lives. They laugh at every joke ever told to them (regardless of the humorous content)... "hahaha oh to get to the other side?! That's a thigh slapper!" they complement everyone on the same things "Joe your shoes are awesome! Hey Sue great shoes!" (for those of you who do this- it erases all sense of genuinity), they seem too happy (because secretly they aren't) "today while walking to work I slipped and broke my leg in 3 places- but that's ok, because I don't really like using my legs anyway".

This may sound very negative, but it's also very true. I would rather meet someone who is genuine and maybe not quite as happy-go-lucky, with unicorns shooting out of their asses. The person who can be realistic and still happy is the person that is most genuine. I'm not disputing there aren't many genuinely happy people, and that some of them can find happiness in any situation. I'm just saying those that are clearly fake... annoy the crap out of me. Plus fake people don't tend to have the same "bounce" that fake boobs have.

Thus fake boobs... Better than fake people!

Queen of the Screen Protectors

I work at a telecommunications company, unfortunately in their retail sector (for now). And I see so many ridiculous things, but let me tell you how frustrating cell phone screen protectors are! I deal with them almost on a daily basis. Whether my fellow coworkers are asking me (Queen of the Screen Protectors) to put it on someone's phone, listening to a customer complain because it isn't on correctly or seeing the invariable dreaded air bubbles appear. Screen protectors are something that annoy me more than any other cell phone accessory. And that says enough, seeing as I am surrounded and use them every day for my work.

What made this rant come to fruition? The fact that I have put on many screen protectors and they're perfect. That recently I put on a new screen protector onto my own phone and only a few months later I have a lurking air bubble! Bollucks! How, does the Queen of the Screen Protectors, get an air bubble?! So unfair! As I type this on my phone, I'm staring at it and hating it! It's driving me crazy! I've got some OCD tendencies, so this air bubble is like a giant zit poking its dirty-ass face at me! Ugh! Go away, air bubble! Go away!

The amount of screen protectors some will go through to
rid themselves of the dreaded air bubbles!
gadgetmac.com

Girl's Anatomy

I had to drive Brandon to a job interview the other day, and because we didn't know how long it was going to take, (sometimes they last 15 minutes, sometimes an hour) I waited outside in the car. Turns out, this interview was on the longer side. I waited outside in my crapbox of a car for an hour and 20 minutes.

Thankfully, I had brought a book, my laptop, my phone, some snacks and drinks to keep me occupied and content. (I sound like a toddler, don't I?) As I was keeping busy I realized I really had to pee, but thought, "I can hold it a few more minutes". But those few minutes turned into many and I realized I was not, in fact, going to be able to hold it. So, I went into the closest retail store and frantically looked for a public washroom before I peed myself right in their TV section. I ended up asking a nice man, who I'm sure wanted to know why this 20-something gal was doing a variation of the pee-pee dance, and he directed me to the washroom. Success!

I returned to my car to do some further reading, and all was going well. Until I realized I had again polished off another drink! Usually my bladder is easy to deal with, but on this particular day it just wasn't cooperating. I surely couldn't return to the same retail store and use their washroom again. What if the same people saw me and realized I was just using them for their bathroom facilities? Or realized this same girl is still in the store after 45 minutes and hasn't purchased or even looked at a single thing! So, I looked around my car. What did I have that could serve as a temporary toilet? There was a pop can, a cup, plastic baggie... This is when a girl's anatomy sucks the big one! Had I been born a man, I could have hopped to the side of the building or even used the cup in a much easier way. But, if that was the case, and I was born a man, I'd also be doing all sorts of other dumb things.

In case this left you too much in suspense- I ended up waiting until we arrived at the farm my horse lives at to pee behind the barn. It was a tough journey down the dirt road, but I made it!

Ottawa...and it's terrible arena (and hockey team)

Earlier this month, Brandon and I drove to Ottawa for a Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Ottawa Senators game. If you don't know Brandon personally, you wouldn't know that taking him to the venue of the rival playing his team was bound to be a fun adventure!

Beyond the fact that the 2 hour drive (from our hotel approximately 20km away) to the arena was ridiculous and poorly planned by the city, the whole experience prior to the actual game was frustrating- with bad parking systems, uneducated employees... It was a rough go until we got inside the arena. So rough in fact, I have written a letter with suggestions of how they should improve their facility. Of course, it was very nicely and politely written!

But once inside, the fun began. Brandon began his yelling, drinking and high fiving with the plethora of Toronto Maple Leafs' fans. There were so many- way more than I expected!   (I would have inserted a photo of all the TML fans here, but my stupid computer won't cooperate- you go pictureless for now readers)

One of my favourite comments was directed towards the assistant of the Ottawa Senators- "I guess the A stands for almost!" He also yelled at the goalie of Ottawa with comments like, "that was close Craig!". The Toronto fans around us thought he was quite funny, even commenting on how he was on a first name basis with the goalie. It was loud, fun and boisterous. We (the Toronto Maple Leafs, in case you hadn't heard I joined the team) won 5-0 so of course this made Brandon louder and much more excited.
I found it exciting to make comments about how close the Leafs were to winning- which Brandon says will most definitely jinx the winning streak. It seems my comments did not jinx them.

Besides the hockey game, Brandon and I also visited the Heritage Warplane Museum and the Nature Museum.  We picked up another metal warplane sign for the "aircraft room" as well as a model of a T-Rex skull, which was on sale!  So, although I already thought the T-Rex skull was cool, being on sale made it that much better.  I'd prefer if it was showcased outside of the "aircraft room" for others to see, but Brandon thinks it's best to stay in there on the shelf.  Safe.  I think he may be nervous I'd break it... or touch it.  It's on the top shelf in the room.  Taller than me- I can't reach it.  But I can look at it from afar.  

My Computer Sucks!

I've been trying to update my blog for days from my computer. I've talked about this before, my computer sucks! It's old, slow and I've run out of memory space. I need a new one, but that involves money. Something which I do not possess. So, Mac God...or Goddess- please send me a new MacBook Pro?! Please?! I've been good, and I love your company and I tell people how wonderful your products are. You should really just send me a new one. Don't hold me responsible for Brandon not liking you... He refuses to see the greatness of your products 'cause of his games.

I'll continue updating with lots of World of Warcraft goodness as soon as I have time for my computer to load up. For now, help me find Apple God/Goddess and at least swindle me a discount?!

Dear World of Warcraft

"Wasting lives since 1994"

I write to you, World of Warcraft, in regards to my lovely, wonderful boyfriend, Brandon.  You know him well, he visits you each and every day for hours on end- usually the greater portion of the day, in fact.  Firstly, I'd like to ask you to take care of him.  If you see that he isn't eating, sleeping or otherwise taking care of himself, can you please crash the server or freeze your game?  I just want to make sure he stays alive and well if he's going to be playing you for the hours and days he inevitably does.

Second, could you just make him a level 85 already?  He says he's just trying to get to level 85 and then he won't play you as much.  I don't see this as being true, but it's worth a shot!  So, if you could just expedite the process, well that would be wonderful.

Because I am pretty sure Brandon won't stop playing you for quite some time, I'd like to make a suggestion to you on behalf of all gamer's girlfriends out there: I think you should create mandatory break periods.  All players should be mandated to break for at least 15 minutes every hour.  During this break, gamers should be suggested to eat, pee, speak to their girlfriends, cook a meal, call other family members or perhaps stand up and do some kind of physical activity.  During play they should also be reminded to sit up straight and adjust their posture to proper sitting position.  These are merely suggestions, World of Warcraft.  Can I call you WoW?  I feel like with the amount of time you spend with my boyfriend, we're fairly close through only a degree of separation.

Have you ever noticed how every other activity your players do is rushed, just so they can get back to playing your game?  I see this behaviour in Brandon when eating, talking to me, cooking, watching movies... basically any task or activity set in front of him other than you.  Just let him know you'll still be there when he eventually does return.  That you won't have picked up and left, crashed or disappeared.  I suspect you'll (unfortunately) be around for a very long time.

Wow, why do you make your quests and levels so long and complicated?  From your creators' stance I suppose it's so people spend lots of time, energy and money on you.  And while I support that from a business standpoint, do they not have families who want to see them and talk to them every once in a while?  Oh.  No?  Hmmmm.... ok.  Well, I'd like to talk to Brandon some more- without you making noises and trying to gather his attention in the background.

Listen Wow, I'm sure you've got your place in the world.  I'm sure you've got to have some kind of goodness to you.  Somewhere.  But I can't find it.  I don't intend to be mean, just asking for some cooperation.  It's hardly fair that you insist on taking up ALL of Brandon's spare time.  Can I please have Brandon back?  Please?

Kind regards,

Shannon

P.S. I thought you may enjoy this video from YouTube showing examples of what your players say to us, patient and understanding, girlfriends.

Where is the maple syrup?!

We're Canadian. If you're a regular reader you would have picked up these clues with many words spelled using "u" and "e" on the end.

So, you can laugh at this post which is all about our maple syrup placement. Yup, I know, maple syrup is so Canadian. And we love it... Well I really only use it on my pancakes.

Anyway, there's a dispute in our house regarding the syrup placement. Where do you keep your syrup? I have always kept it in the cupboard. No where on the bottle does Aunt Jamima tell me her sweet, sweet syrup belongs in the fridge- so why would I question her?! It belongs in the cupboard!
Brandon, however, seems to think maple syrup belongs in the fridge. I had never heard of this before we moved in with one another. Actually it wasn't until we had pancakes at our place the first time that I had any idea at all that he was a major weirdo! In terms of maple syrup that is.

When Brandon goes in the cupboard and sees the syrup sitting comfortably on the shelf he removes it and places it on the top shelf of the fridge. WRONG!!! This is NOT where the syrup belongs!!! So, I see this and I place Aunt Jamima back in her cupboard. Sometimes this will continue as a back and forth action for a few days until he finally gives up.

Shit Guys Don't Say

For those of you who haven't seen this:

A friend sent this to me, and it made me laugh because yes these are typically things men don't say...however there are a few statements in there I've heard around my house before.  :)

Enjoy!