Thursday, 28 June 2012

Today I Learned... fiancĂ© is preparing for any sort of emergency.  (Actually it was yesterday and last night, but those details don't matter.)

We all remember this post about his belief in the zombie apocalypse, right? Well, he has decided to make his summer hobby preparing an emergency "grab bag". I'm sure I've completely used the wrong wording and will be chastised for it tonight when I get home for work.

Of course, I have been recruited to help out, which I am happy to do. I have made a request for my survival items to be pink- Brandon says this is not happening and that it's impractical. Whatever- its cute! I want to look into my survival bag (in the event of an emergency) and have some enjoyment. I also requested a book, because, shit, if there is a zombie apocalypse or other crazy potentially life ending emergency, I'm going to need something to do.
What? You don't expect that I will be out hunting, do you? Oh no... In the event that things get all "Walking Dead" around here, I believe it's safe to assume we all revert back to old style gender roles. Brandon hunts, I'll work on some gathering and cooking. 

We will, however, need a third person to be our lookout while we are busy. I think we should start taking applications now, you know, so we're prepared for such an event.
Requirements of this person are:
  • we like you enough to keep you in our group, and alive in general
  • you must have good eyesight (won't be having you shoot anything/anyone who isn't meant to be shot (do you know what that can do to a group?)
  • must be fit enough to run quickly to get away from danger- of course we will accept applications from those in wheelchairs, please just ensure you have an all-terrain chair ready for such event.
  • must possess own emergency bag of supplies (as we aren't sharing ours), if you don't have one, don't expect charity from us
  • prefer single person- extra people such as significant others or children just get in the way of doing your job
  • a good familiarity with the Toronto area- to help us get to stores for looting and safe places for hiding
Please note, this is an unpaid position as we will be struggling to stay alive and won't have spare cash to be throwing around.


  1. Greetings, My name is Doug and I feel that I meet all of your undead requirements.
    I am quick and nimble, can hunt, navigate a boat, have enough supplies to survive in my emergency preparedness kit and am a part-time ninja. I live in Toronto and am willing to travel. I would prefer compensation in the form of not being eaten. I am familiar with the undead and have studied their behaviour. I would like to set up an interview, where I will demonstrate my competencies via a fantastic display of jumps, kicks, and firearm integrated martial art routines. I can be reached by signal flare, improvised radio, or signal mirror. Looking forward to your response,


  2. Doug- thank you for your application. We will review all applicants and let those know who have been selected for an interview.