Thursday, 1 December 2011

Goodbye Skyrim!

Well the other day Brandon finally beat Skyrim.  The game he's been playing for hours and hours, day after day is finally over.  (Yippee!)  He got 49/50 "chievers" otherwise known as achievements to the normal world.  He became a Thane, part leader of a Brotherhood, of a Thieves Guild, a few colleges, a master enchanter among many other titles of great importance.

Goodbye to all the orks, elves, nords, lizard-people, dragons, humans born with dragon souls, cat-people...and goodbye to his Imperial wife (stupid bitch!).  Fun fact: in this game you are allowed inter-species and same sex marriages.
The sounds of dragons groaning & growling, giants grunting, horses whinnying, Scottish creatures' brogue and all the other sounds of Skyrim will no longer fill our home.  What a shame.

While looking up the names for these creatures I came across an interesting article which explains to men how to turn their current girlfriend into a "gamer girl".  Below is the brief summary of said article (
  • Find a game with a good narrative
  • Keep her away from the Nintendo Wii
  • Get her hooked on the online/arcade games for your console
  • Don't play with her
I hate to say so, but I agree with all these points.  I am drawn in by good story lines that seem more like movies than pointless games that contain hours of play. 
I can't say I 100% agree with staying away from the Wii... I enjoy my Wii!  But I see that it isn't productive to making your girlfriend a true gamer, seeing as the Wii doesn't include any online components or gamer points, or achievements. 
The arcade games on the XBox are interesting.  I don't like that they are only demos and then you have to buy them.  I mean, I understand that from the business aspect of it, but it sucks as a user. 
And finally, it's true not to play with your gamer boyfriend.  He'll totally beat everything you do first, get ahead of you in the level and probably even end up killing you at some point.  This happened to me at my own game!  We played Lego Pirates of the Caribbean together on his XBox (after starting on my Wii and him wanting more gamer points) and he kept getting ahead of me, even though I knew all the level maps.  This is incredibly discouraging, so don't do it.

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