Tuesday, 7 February 2012

The Girl's Guide to World of Warcraft: Part 2

For the 2nd installment of the Girl's Guide to World of Warcraft, we will focus on... 


Better known to the "normies" as jobs, WoW knew their players wouldn't understand such terminology as many of their players lack jobs.  So instead they classify them as "classes".  There are 10 total classes to pick from- some only available with the expansion packs... which you can buy for the low low cost of only $19.95 per pack each and every time you want to expand your playing world!  And who wouldn't want to, am I right?

Here we go.

Druid- similar to transformers, but instead of cars and trucks they can become bears, cats and use magic with all sorts of crazy names. Similarly to Jesus they also have a talent called rebirth which resurrects them.

Hunter- straightforward enough, even for us "normies" who have to listen to this stuff- but beyond the long range hunting they do, they can also tame beasts around the worlds (of warcraft) and make these animals fight for them. When reading about hunters I thought it was funny one of their talent specializations is "survival"... shouldn't they all have survival?!

Mage- these weirdos use magic to damage other players, they can teleport, have a special talent called crowd control and can make food and water out of nothing- essentially these are witches. Burn them!

Paladin- they are hybrids- like a Toyota Prius! They are apparently good supporters and have great buff abilities- girls I don't think they mean buff like man-buff. Don't these guys sound great though- good supporters and buff? Hmmm... maybe a Paladin would make for a good husband?

Priest- quoted as the most healing class in the game.  Well I should hope so! They're freakin priests! They also have mind control abilities... I don't think this game is very realistic, how about you?

Rogue- they are strong at being stealth they're also good at lock picking- women we can relate this to Henry from "The Time Travelers Wife"... He has to be good at that too. Otherwise they're useless. I've been informed the term "rogues do it from behind" is quite popular among the WoW players because of the fact they come at enemies from behind to attack... I wonder if these WoW players even know what us "normies" think of that as- considering most of them probably haven't had sex before

Shaman- these guys are crazy they can switch between being casters (not like the ones under your bed) and healers, also known as good supporters who can fill in whatever position may be needed at the time. Kind of like a jack of all trades I guess

Warlock- they use "dark magic" (as opposed to all that light magic) to dominate enemies- they also use animals as weapons, but instead of regular animals they use demons- apparently mostly played by lazy players who play on easy mode

Warrior- they have strong close fighting abilities but are dependent on their gear because their abilities are affected by what they carry and wear...they sound needy.

Death Knight- a high end class because you can't get one until you're level 55... In other words after you've put in a solid 36 hours of playtime maybe you can acquire one of these guys. They can have minions! Maybe I DO want to be this!

This covers the class descriptions, next time we'll move onto outfitting/customizing your character.  This is where the real fun starts!

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