Monday 9 January 2012

Toes-ick!

I hate feet!  Specifically toes.  Eww.  Long, crooked, sweaty, hairy, bendy...ugh I hate toes!

Brandon doesn't mind toes.  I may even go as far as to say he likes them.  Eww! So he knows that touching my toes in any way disgusts me. Makes me actually want to vomit all over the couch- or wherever I happen to be at the time.  Of course, this means he tries every opportunity to touch, tickle or even....lick my toes!!

I chose this picture because it was the happiest picture of feet I could find.


The answer to your first question is, no, Brandon does not have a foot fetish.  The answer to your second question is, he does it just to bug me.  What he never seems to learn from is the reaction I always have when he does such terrible things to me.  Physical violence.

The previous photo then made me think of this adorable movie


Growing up with an older brother who was into hockey and wrestling meant I had to find ways to defend myself.  Because he was always bigger and stronger than I was I found other ways to fend off the enemy.  This usually resulted in kicking, biting or pinching.  (Hey, a girl has to do what a girl has to do!)  So Brandon receives many practiced years of male torturing.  Because of the logistics- him holding onto my feet- kicking is generally my preferred method.  However, I don't rule out a tickle (his worst torture) or pinch every now and then.  He gets mad when I hurt him- but if he would just stop touching my feet we wouldn't have this issue.

Toes are disgusting.  Well, feet in general are gross.  When I searched the word "toes" in Google, my results were horrifying.  The images of webbed toes, broken toes, foot fungi, uncared for feet among all the normal feet cemented my idea that toes and the feet they dwell on are terribly disgusting things that do little more for us than provide some extra balance as we walk.  Thanks for that little bit toes, but could you stop being so gross and all?!

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