I recall when you first emerged on the #social networking scene, I was a newly @Facebook dumper. That's right, I had quit @Facebook. You had no use to me. I thought you were just @Facebook status updates in disguise. I resisted you @Twitter. But now I've come to say #I'm sorry. I shouldn't have fought the urge to join your forces and update people within 140 characters or less every few minutes.
I am #happy to say, @Twitter, that I am now a happy member of your fleet. I frequently broadcast my thoughts to the #world... ok my 40 followers (as long as no one has unfollowed me...#sad), and read all about others' updates to their life, or funny thoughts- oft stolen from other people they follow on @Twitter that don't follow them back so wouldn't know they stole their material. I know this happens, because sometimes I'm following both of those people. (you copycats aren't #clever)
So now @Twitter...I'm addicted. I check you all the time. At work. At home. In the car ("totally my bad, I was sending a tweet"). When I'm peeing. While I'm walking my dog. In meetings. @Twitter you are my bitch lover! (#Wedding Crashers)
While I realize I have completely contorted into what you want me to be, I want you to know I'm still my own person @Twitter. I still think regular thoughts...additional to the thoughts that I think "this would be good for Twitter". I still send text messages. I still take pictures without applying an #Instagram filter and selecting the @Twitter posting option...sometimes, ok not really.
@Twitter, you connect me to people who I would never really talk to. Mostly because they are famous and they wouldn't know who I am... ok fine! They still don't know who I am! But sometimes they #retweet me! OMG! Someone who makes lots of money, somewhere in the world, that I know, but doesn't know me... retweeted my thought. @Twitter thank you for allowing this to happen. Thank you for this ray of sunshine in my life.
@Twitter, here it is in a nut shell: #I love you. Now listen, before you go getting all excited and stuff- I'm #engaged. Happily engaged. And I won't go messing things up just because you've whored yourself out to me. Nope. I've got resistance and #will power. I won't let you further into my life @Twitter. So sometimes I forget I'm not on @Twitter when I'm writing and I misuse hash tags and @ symbols...so what. Right?
@Twitter- can you feel the love tonight? You are so beautiful to me! And all my life, I've prayed for someone like you. So, have I told you lately- that I love you? I'll be there for you, when you need somebody. Because I will always love you.