Belly Button Munching Monster

I imagine him looking something like the Cookie Monster, but less happy.  And less… blue.  I think he must be quite tiny to fit in there- my belly button.  Oh, I didn’t tell you who I’m referring to: Belly Button Munching Monster.  What?  You haven’t heard of him?  Don’t you have one living in your belly button?  Let me explain who he is and what he does, and maybe you’ll know him.

The Belly Button Munching Monster is similar to Polkaroo (who is a children’s television show character from here in Ontario, Canada) in that he is never seen.  If you know who Polkaroo is, this reference will make total sense to you and you may even have fond memories of watching the male host of Polka Dot Door miss Polkaroo again.  If you don’t know him, and think I’m crazy, just know that the Belly Button Munching Monster is never seen.

If you’re unfamiliar with him (or her, I’m sure they have females BBMMs, or how else would they procreate? I can just confirm that mine is male… don’t ask me how.), he lives in your belly button and eats small tiny, just noticeable holes in your shirts.  Holes that are small enough you don’t notice them when you put the shirt on, but later in the day when you look at yourself you think perhaps you’ve spilled something on yourself, and instead it’s a teeny tiny little hole.  “Crapola! How’d that even happen?”  This is how I came to realize I totally have a BBMM.  And once they’re in there (your belly button) there is no removing them.  He’s harmless enough, I suppose.  Though it’s starting to get annoying that I’ve got holes in so many shirts.  Why can’t he be more productive, and eat belly button lint instead?

I’ve decided I’m ok with him hanging out.  I’d appreciate it if he didn’t eat my shirts, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.  And I’d hate to see the little guy starve.  So I let me Belly Button Munching Monster, live freely in my belly button, creating holes in my shirts.

Or maybe it’s just my belt?