Sunday, 12 August 2012

Olympic Sports I Could Do

We have been inundated with Olympics.  And I have to admit, today I was glad to see them go.  This happens every 2 years- winter or summer Olympics, our TVs, newspapers, magazines, social media and everywhere else are completely taken over by the events.  Even the ones that, clearly, no one cares about.  Like race-walking.  Seriously?  Race-walking?!

These gals hardly look like they're working at all.  Yet look at the one on the left- she's clearly straining herself.  When I watch the summer Olympics I tend to watch the events and think to myself, "ya, I could do that!"  (Whether or not that's reality doesn't matter to me.)  So, I thought up some events I could most definitely participate in, and possibly be a contender for a gold medal.

  • creating Excel spreadsheets.  Yup- you read that correctly.  I am THE master of Excel spreadsheets.  Sure the people who developed it may know it a tad better than me.  But the restrictions on the event would clearly dictate no computer nerds allowed.  Therefore, I'd win.
  • colour coordinating closets & finding items in record time.  OK, so you could chalk that up to learning my colours early in life- mom says I was advanced.  Or was it special?  Anyway, my closet is colour coordinated and also organized by type of clothing.  I am super quick at it and can always tell you exactly where any piece of clothing I own would be located.
  • worrying about unnecessary things prematurely.  I am a pro at thoughts such as, "I really hope Brandon has organized his DVDs in alphabetical order so I can find the movie I want to watch as soon as I get home" or, "I wonder if he thinks my shirt is the wrong shade of pink?  what if he hates it?" and, "if I don't get home within the next 10 minutes, my whole day will be thrown off and I may not have adequate time to sit around and read Twitter".  See?  There's no way I wouldn't win gold on this one.
  • reciting dog and horse breeds upon seeing them.  Man walking down the street with his rare Norwegian Lundehund- I knew it, and I could tell you about the history of the breed too.  Go ahead and test me.
  • coming up with ridiculous insults and curses to drivers around me during rush hour.  This is fairly self-explanatory.  Cut me off, and I will be sure to flash you one of my useful fingers and probably yell a creative obscenity at you that you've never heard of. 
 I'm sure there are many more ridiculous Olympic events I could medal in, but I don't have time to list them all- I've got to go worry about whether or not the towels are on the correct shelf in the linen closet.

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