Saturday, 12 January 2013

Parenting Advice for Kim & Kanye

If you haven't heard the news about Kanye and Kim, then their celebrity spotlight stint didn't work very well for them. Kanye West and Kim Kardashian are pregnant. Well, technically it's Kim who's preggers, but he's (supposedly) the father.

            The results are in...and Kanye, you.... ARE the father!

We feel the same way Kanye.

In an effort to try and help a brotha' out (I'm honing in on my black side here), I thought I'd write down some tips to both Kanye and Kim about what they should and shouldn't teach their baby. Based on previous escapades, of course.

We know you're crazy Kim
  • You may up your street cred, but not your fan following, when you upstage someone and steal a microphone when they're accepting an award. Apologies that follow may be seen as forced celebrity manager "parenting".
  • Creating a show with all your family could make you famous...for simply doing nothing. However, as you gain popularity you also lose respect. 
  • Thinking you're great, and actually being great are very different. Make sure you choose the right option.
  • Sex tapes are never a good idea! But they do make your name a common one in the household.
  • People will laugh at you if you dare to compare Coldplay to The Beatles, stating Coldplay is just as good, or better, than The Beatles.  
  • Defaulting to a fashion "career" is only a good idea if you've gained all those sheep fans
  • Twitter can emphasize just how stupid you are- so be careful.
  • Don't get married (for the 2nd time) for it only to last 72 days. Because then you meet your baby-daddy and things get messy. It has publicity stunt failure written all over it!
  • K's are a popular letter in our families- get used to it
  • If you become famous, don't lie about things like your sister's paternity or tweets you've sent... Or just anything in general. 
  • Don't be friends with other airhead heiresses
  • You can sing about it, but just know...not everyone is a gold digger.
  • Lots of perfume lines won't make you seem more'll just smell really strongly
  • Sometimes it's best to keep your mouth shut... In all aspects.
"Do you think they know how ridiculous we really are?"

No comments:

Post a Comment