Gears of Reach?

Brandon and I are out picking up some necessary items today: toilet paper, Kleenex etc... and he would like to go to Best Buy.  So we stop in and of course we head directly to the Xbox section of the store.  Here he seeks out the new tool he'd like to purchase: an Xbox cooling fan.

In theory I must admit this seems like a neat little nick-nack.  It directs the hot air that your Xbox creates away from the unit and into the room.  I wanted a little room heater anyway- maybe 2 birds, one stone?  But after further inspection Brandon sees this tool is actually intended for units which are kept in confined areas, such as in an entertainment stand.

You know the ones that electronic manufacturers always tell you NOT to place their equipment, but people do anyway?  Ya it's meant for those morons.
Since Brandon isn't one of those morons, and keeps his Xbox (alongside Doug's) in our otherwise adult living room, he decides he doesn't need this tool.

However, in his travels in the Xbox aisles of paradise, he finds this HUGE box.  It's a special edition-or legendary edition- Halo Reach game and other stuff...you know, the important things like: fake medals and badges you can proudly display in our home of fictional characters no one knows, and photos of this character receiving these medals, and fancy packaging (total not eco friendly).  But he's so excited.  It's something like half price of what it used to be.  So he buys it.

Of course it also comes with this large "statue", made of like a rubbery plastic.  It has all the characters from the game with their respective guns, and again gets to adorn the shelves of our home.  Brandon now has 2 of these great "statues".  One from his Gears of War 3 special edition pre-order package and one for his new Halo Reach purchase.  They sit on his bookshelves:

Gears of War 3 dude

Halo Reach guys

Together on the shelf

 Another fine point to note is that this new purchase today was something he already owned.  OK, not the whole kit.  But he already owned the game, why the need for all the extras in the large box?  We take the nearly 2' x 2' box up to the cashier and she asks, "Is this all for one game?".  Brandon explains there are a lot more collector items (ie nerdy items) inside besides the game, and also offered up the information that he already owns the game but just wants "all the cool stuff inside".  Her follow-up remark was, "So all your guests can see them?"  I think she seriously wondered why someone would do this.  I have to admit, prior to meeting Brandon I may also have wondered the same thing.  I still wonder, but it doesn't seem as foreign to me anymore- it's just our life.

The LARGE and in charge boxes these collector edition games come in- which take up considerable room in our storage closet.  So much that we have to move some of our out of season jackets to another closet.

Also just being informed yet another large special edition box set video game is on pre-order (see picture below)...yay.

Look at all those unnecessary items it comes with...besides the map- of course he needs an antique map for the game!

The Traveling Tea Towel

It's so odd.  I've never been to anyone's home and seen their tea towels move around as much as they do here.  Perhaps it's the building we live in?  Maybe there's some kind of magical powers that allow my towels to come alive?  Yet somehow I think that may not be the case.  I more lean to the fact that Brandon often carries the towel around on his shoulder and then puts it down somewhere.  Let's follow the travels of the traveling tea towel!

Near the front door- also near the kitchen

SO close to the stove where it should hang!

Airplane room- no place for a towel here

On the bed...

There are so many more places I find towels, and I'll be sure to update with more photos as I come across them.

The Fridge

Let's talk about how the fridge SHOULD look and how it looks after boys have taken and replaced an item.
I realize I am an over-organized person who likes order.  But then there are basic "rules" of the fridge that should be followed.  Such as: large items and beverages belong on the top shelf, left overs and short tupperware items belong on the second shelf and milk, lettuce and large left overs belong on the bottom shelf.  The side of the door is intended for marinades, dressings, sauces, ketchup etc.  In our fridge eggs also belong in the side door.  Finally the crispers.  The left one holds our sandwich meats, cheeses and hotdogs (in other words all our processed crap).  The right one holds our fruits and veggies.  Here is a picture of how the fridge SHOULD look:

Beverages and large items on top shelf.  Small leftovers on the second shelf to the left and yogurts and short items, bottom shelf has the lettuce and some oranges that couldn't fit in the crisper.  Trust that the crispers are in good order with proper contents inside.  This is a good fridge in which you can find whatever it is you may be looking for at a quick pace and without wasting much cold air from the fridge.  However, THIS is how the fridge will generally look following a man rummaging through it:

If you are a man reading this you may think it looks similar.  But please notice all the small items which don't need to be on the top shelf.  The common occurrence in our house seems to be, whenever a man takes something out of the fridge, it is put back into the fridge on the TOP shelf.  It doesn't matter where they got it from, only matters that they place it back on the top shelf.

Oiy.

Free Range Socks

Their habitat is often within the bedroom dwelling, though they can also be spotted within other areas of the homestead: bathrooms, kitchens, laundry rooms and quite often the living room.  Allowed to scatter wherever they please and wherever they may land (upon human removal).  Usually white in colour, these socks are easily spotted- with no real camouflaging pattern or abilities.  These socks require little care and virtually no diet.  Their only predator (besides me) is a large Bernese Mountain Dog, named Hudson.

They are the FREE RANGE SOCKS.

Free Range Socks show up quite often and in new places every week- you can expect to see many more photos of these socks in their natural environment... my home!

It's All Good in the Hood

The Xbox shenanigans continue... Doug and Brandon are currently playing their Xbox Modern Warfare games, listening to 1990's old school rap music.  Clearly some drinking is involved.  They are so enjoying themselves: dancing, rapping... "throwin' their hands in the air... like they just don't care".

Douggie has just informed me.... "Mase loves you".  This is fantastic news!  I've been waiting years to know for sure whether Mase does or does not in fact love me.  Finally, Doug has put my mind at ease!

Mase- he loves me.

From what I can hear between the rapping and gangsta talk, it sounds as though they may be compiling a list of 1990's rap.  I'll be sure to post it, so you can all enjoy what I have enjoyed this evening.

Part Time Job: Clutter Buster

I'm a full-time student.  A part-time retail store sales associate.  AND a part-time Clutter Buster!

What is a Clutter Buster, you may ask?

Job Description

Roles & Responsibilities 

• entering home and surveying each room for the most probable clutter
• assessing clutter
• prioritizing which clutter should be addressed, based on who may see it, if it's growing/living, if it currently has-or will have- a smell, whether dogs can/will access it
• begin clearing clutter... BUST IT!
• scold boys for AGAIN leaving their clutter around the house

Goals

• keep the house free of clutter and acceptable for visitors and daily living
• NOT feel anxious about amount of clutter 

Qualifications

• preferably a woman (so the job is done right)
• require little to no sleep, as to allow for constant clutter busting
• patience dealing with men
• some sort of education is preferred so as not to be discouraged in working this job forever (or as long as you live with a man)

Compensation

• n/a 

Now that you have a better understanding of what exactly a Clutter Buster is (you in fact may have just found out you, too, are a Clutter Buster!), you are able to assess the following "cases" of clutter.

Clothing

Brandon's favourite clutter goal: see how many different places he can leave his clothes- of course NOT including the drawers or hamper.

on top of boxes upon moving in

on the nicely made bed (by me of course)

ahhhh.... on the floor right beside the bed! This is a common one

SO CLOSE to being in the right spot... just push it down INTO the hamper...

Dishes
Another common clutter occurrence- dishes.  Very often used, very often not put away.

these are breakfast dishes... this picture was taken at 3pm.  Dishes still sitting on the table

beer bottles, cans, leftovers, plates, empty milk jug, dish cleaning tool...all NOT in their proper positions

dog food- please note the lid has been placed on the can- FANTASTIC!  Please also note it is not in the fridge... so close

dog food dispensing spoon- I should have taken a photo of the dishwasher which sits right next to the sink

Other

not sure this counts as clutter- but is a garbage bin which hasn't been emptied in weeks- I guess I'm guilty in this one too.

An every morning clutter occurrence- the bed NOT being made until I go back into the room to do so- after fighting the urge I just must have a made bed before I leave the house

 I am the Clutter Buster.  I am NOT available for hire as I have far too much clutter busting to do in my own house.  However, should you ever need clutter busting tips- I'm your gal.  I've also got some great tips on how to suppress making the comments to the guilty clutter makers.

"How do men sort their laundry?

"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

Guys and the XBox

Let me set the scene of guys and their Xbox.

8am- wake up, eat breakfast, watch some TV

9am- text friends to see if they’ll be up and/or on Xbox Live soon

9:15am- turn on Xbox

9:16am- begin talking to friends on Xbox Live and load up game

9:17am- begin shooting, knifing and throwing grenades at the other guys on Xbox (many of who I assume have been up all night and/or woke up in the middle of the night to begin playing)

9:18am-12pm- continue shooting, knifing and throwing grenades at people

12:01pm- make lunch

12:03- eat lunch, meanwhile talking to the other guys on Xbox informing them he will be back online in just a minute or two

12:05pm- login to lobby of Xbox game and decide on which “map” to play with friends

12:06-5pm- continue playing and harassing other people on Xbox Live

5:10pm- girlfriend walks in the door and realizes her boyfriend has played Xbox for 8 hours while she was at work and will continue to play for the remainder of the evening.

In our humble abode we have 2 Xboxes.  And more recently, the 2^nd one, which used to live in the “man den/airplane room” (more on that another day), has moved into the living room with the other Xbox.  In fact they sit on top of one another.  (see picture )  Now, depending on if you have a boyfriend/husband/brother/friend who also plays Xbox (or any other gaming console), you may not understand why TWO Xboxes are needed or why they would need to be in the same room. 

It’s all about the online gaming.  Where you can play with and against people from all over the world who are also wasting their time playing the same game.  Fun fun!  That’s right- you too could play with the person in the very next room…online!  Why play with them, sitting next to them?  That’s so Super Nintendo era.  Folks, we’ve moved on where you not only play games online but with people in your house- in other rooms.  This is apparently fun for guys.  I’m sure somewhere out there… maybe there are a couple girls who also like to play Xbox, but I’m going to guess that population is very small.  So for those girls who don’t understand it, you aren’t alone.

What is it that this stupid grey box has?  How can you play the same game over and over again and be entertained?  This is where I get lost in the matter.  Sure, maybe once…twice even could possibly be fun.  But really every day, all day, over and over again?  It’s the same mission- kill the bad guys, protect your team, win achievements.

It saddens me that I know as much as I do about Xbox and the games that are played on it.  It’s not something I’m happy is taking up a portion of my brain and memory…but when you live with 2 men, it becomes part of your life.

"God created men before women because you’re always supposed to have a rough draft before you create your final masterpiece."