I Learned to Steal From my Grandma

Not like a car or anything major.  Just fruit, napkins, condiments...

I can remember so often going out for a meal with her, and she'd always take the extras that we hadn't used.  We'd go to a buffet and she'd take extra, easily hidden, food for later consumption.  I'm fairly certain that a buffet doesn't have a take-out option.  They sort of bank on the idea that you won't eat as much as you pay for, nevermind taking some home.

The last time Brandon and I went out to eat somewhere I recall keeping the extra ketchup and napkins and being reminded of my grandmother.  Never mind turning into your mother, I skipped that generation and went straight to the earlier.  Come to think of it, I've been "stealing" condiments since I've been an adult, and before that I was doing it for my grandma.  We're a regular Bonnie & Clyde duo.  Better watch out for us fast food & restaurants of Canada...we're on our way to your door step next!  Stealing ketchup, mustard, napkins and plastic cutlery on our way...

Laugh at me now, but when times get tough, and money a bit tight, and you've got a naked hotdog jonesing for some ketchup, don't come crawling.  Because we're hoarders, not sharers.  This for sure is my strength should the zombie apocalypse come upon us.

Today I Learned...

...my fiancé is preparing for any sort of emergency.  (Actually it was yesterday and last night, but those details don't matter.)

We all remember this post about his belief in the zombie apocalypse, right? Well, he has decided to make his summer hobby preparing an emergency "grab bag". I'm sure I've completely used the wrong wording and will be chastised for it tonight when I get home for work.

Of course, I have been recruited to help out, which I am happy to do. I have made a request for my survival items to be pink- Brandon says this is not happening and that it's impractical. Whatever- its cute! I want to look into my survival bag (in the event of an emergency) and have some enjoyment. I also requested a book, because, shit, if there is a zombie apocalypse or other crazy potentially life ending emergency, I'm going to need something to do.
What? You don't expect that I will be out hunting, do you? Oh no... In the event that things get all "Walking Dead" around here, I believe it's safe to assume we all revert back to old style gender roles. Brandon hunts, I'll work on some gathering and cooking. 

We will, however, need a third person to be our lookout while we are busy. I think we should start taking applications now, you know, so we're prepared for such an event.
Requirements of this person are:

• we like you enough to keep you in our group, and alive in general
• you must have good eyesight (won't be having you shoot anything/anyone who isn't meant to be shot (do you know what that can do to a group?)
• must be fit enough to run quickly to get away from danger- of course we will accept applications from those in wheelchairs, please just ensure you have an all-terrain chair ready for such event.
• must possess own emergency bag of supplies (as we aren't sharing ours), if you don't have one, don't expect charity from us
• prefer single person- extra people such as significant others or children just get in the way of doing your job
• a good familiarity with the Toronto area- to help us get to stores for looting and safe places for hiding

Please note, this is an unpaid position as we will be struggling to stay alive and won't have spare cash to be throwing around.